I thought growing up I was going to be an actress. EVERYTHING in my life was centered around making it on Broadway – it was even more important than boys. 😉
I had been accepted to study acting at the competitive New York University musical theatre program. I moved to New York City and took four years of classes with some of the best teachers in the country, preparing to be a stage actress. I got cast in semi-professional theatre productions. I worked as hard as I could, yet again prioritizing my future career over a social life.
I was making it happen.
But something was happening inside me, at the same time. As I got closer to graduation and the reality of life as an aspiring actress, reality started to set in. I was good, but I wasn’t The Best. Waiting to be “discovered” is hard. I felt every rejection acutely. I hated the underlying feeling that there were always 100 other actresses auditioning who could sing higher than me, kick higher than me, look prettier than me. I hated feeling replaceable.
One spring day my senior year, with graduation looming, I walked along Union Square Park in New York City, feeling uncertain about my future. I was thinking about how life as an actor involved more time trying to get a role than it did actually performing in a role. I was mentally wrestling with whether I could come to grips with my dislike of rejection and get excited about auditions. As I turned to walk along the park at Union Square, this thought popped into my mind:
I don’t want to be famous. I want to be important. And that’s different.
As that thought landed and turned over in my mind, I discovered my true wish went even deeper:
I want to have a job where people are HAPPY I showed up to work every day. Not a job where I feel replaceable, like acting. I need to be somewhere where people care that I showed up that day. I need to be important.
Realizing that it was more important to me to be important than to be famous changed my entire career plan. I was weeks away from graduating with one of the most coveted acting degrees in the world, but I just couldn’t be an actress anymore. If what I really wanted in life was to feel like my contributions were important, being an actress wasn’t the only – or even the best – way to accomplish that. If my end goal was to be important, the way to reach that goal was to change my life plan completely.
If you’re thinking GRIT is the only way to be successful, it’s not. Pivoting, letting go, and finding a new path saves you precious resources so you can reach success sooner. If you’ve heard people say “work smarter, not harder,” embracing and pivoting after failure is the prime example of how to do that.
Failure is painful, but failure can often allow us the opportunity we need to focus our time, effort, money, and energy on a better new plan.
